| fucking bitch |
[Dec. 11th, 2009|02:44 am] |
traitor, benidict arnold, backstabbing, power hungry, psycho, boring, transparant, lying rat! i hope you are satisfied. i know how hard it was for you to come forth... after it wouldn't affect you anymore. some people dont want to be associated with me any more... fuck you fuck you fuck you how dare you. how dare you ignore the good and focus on the mistakes. you think you are doing good, service to those that have lost their path... thank you but i don't need a savior... you are not my messiah i don't need a martyr. work on yourself or maybe your just so dull you have nothing better to do but start drama. how vengeful and low... the concern is false the repercussions are very much real.
no matter what each individual is perfect |
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| too late to write |
[May. 12th, 2007|02:23 am] |
so it seems that i got my groove back. yes i had taken a breif vow of celebecy and then fucked dudes(sucks) and they were mostly straight(boring). now i realize the vag is the only thing that is worth taking time for. endless smiles are born in the shadows of our former selves.
this discovery has planted a seed of hope. a term that I seldomly use.
im in trouble.
a kind of trouble that seems to be so true
my nature, contiuing every day
can you handle that?
i hope so. |
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| sleater mother fucking-kinney!!! |
[Aug. 11th, 2006|09:53 pm] |
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bitter sweet. andrew and I are currently in our hostle in portland cause we are going to see sleater-kinney this time tomorrow!!! im soooooo fucking happy, thrilled, wet, every feeling that inclueds wonderful and glorious. this is the last show... its so final. im glad we are here to see them. so there are two people in our room that came to see sleater-kinney for both shows and they came all the way from london england. and we also have gary our other roomate from england. so it kinda sounds like we went to england. we have yet to meet our other roomie i wonder if where she is from? talk to you later. |
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| drunk and happy |
[Jul. 13th, 2006|10:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
honest and I lie
nice and I will be mean
selfish and altruistic
happy and sad
complete
appreciation of the nature of duality
will lead to where i want to be |
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| i cried |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|09:04 pm] |
someone i know posted this and im not sure that my response will change any minds.
----------------------------begining of post-----------------------------------------------------------------------
You call me "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and you think it's OK.
But when I call you, nigger, Kike, Towelhead, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink you call me a racist.
You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live
You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi
You have the NAACP.
You have BET
If we had WET(white entertainment television) we'd be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day you would call us racists.
If we had white history month, we'd be racists.
If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives, we'd be racists.
If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships, you know we'd be racists.
In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.
You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.
You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us.
But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him
a racist.
I am white.
I am proud.
But, you call me a racist.
Why is it that only whites can be racists?
Repost if you agree
----------------------------------end of post-----------------------------------------------------------
I can answer every question on this post.
First off I would like to outline the history of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
The WHITE man came to an INHABITED land and conducted biological warfare on the native people by giving them small pox and other nasty dieses.
In this "land of the free" we had what was called
slavery. That pushed an entire community back, socially, economically, and educationally. Why? because they were not WHITE.
After slavery there was intense segregation until 1964( and let me assure you it did not end then).
So I am sure that no on would argue that white people happed to have an advantage above every one else.
A racist comment will always be negative no matter who it is directed tward.
I know that because of what I have just outlined anyone can see that the impact that it would have to call
a white person a cracker ( in referece to the whip cracking on a slaves back) is no were near the same as calling a minority by anything racist.
to answer a few questions:
Why is the ghetto so dangerous. well i would have to say it would probably be the drugs in the ghetto. May I remind everyone that :Urban neighborhoods are grappling with legions of homeless crack addicts. Thousands of young black men are serving long prison sentences for selling cocaine - a drug that
was virtually unobtainable in black neighborhoods before members of the CIA's army brought it into South-Central in the 1980s at bargain-basement prices.
Since even before 1944 the United Negro College fund has been helping those students that socially are not given the same chances in life as others.
maybe because schools were segregated until 1954 when brown v. board of education that ended segration.
our history books outline white european americans more than any minority. that is why white people dont need a "month"
Cesar Chaves is the only latino to ever have a "day" as for martin luther king i think he is the only black person to have a "day"
i believe that several white people have thier own days; lincoln, george washington, even columbus.
Yom Hashoah is to remind everyone of the holacaust. the US has its 9/11 (doesnt even compare to the holacaust)
Ma'uled Al-Nabi mohamads birthday- um did we forget that all you white people forced jesus' bday(christmas) on all of the native people you conqured?
The NAACP well if white peoples rights were as violated as african americans then maybe they would need an association to advance thier civil rights, that is
not the case
EVERY MONTH WHITE HISTORY IS TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS. FEBUARY GIVES PEOPLE A CHANCE TO SEE PART OF AMERICAN HISTORY
HAS BEEN LEFT OUT
THE OPPRESSED CAN NOT OPPRESS. I DO BELIEVE THAT THE SOCIAL IMPACT OF A WHITE PERSON BEING A RACIST TO A MINORITY IS WHAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE. WHITE PEOPLE ARE THE
MOST REVIERED THING TO BE IN THE U.S. AND CAN NOT BE BUMPED OFF THE TOP OF THE SOCIAL LADDER BECAUSE OF AN OPPRESSED PERSONS COMMENTS OR ACTIONS.
MINORITIES ARE PROUD BECAUSE WHITE PEOPLE CONVINCES THEM IT WAS BAD TO BE ANYTHING BUT WHITE
RACE IS ONLY AN ILLUSION. SOMEONE MADE IT UP BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF MELLENIN IN THE SKIN BECAUSE OF THE LOCATION OF WERE YOUR ANCESTORS WERE FROM.
GENETICALLY WE ARE A HUMAN RACE WE ARE ALL THE SAME. NO RACE= NO RACSIM |
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| Maybe a little too late |
[Mar. 12th, 2006|11:58 pm] |
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I only want to be friends with you. My only hope is that of friendship and no farther beyond that. It took me until today to honestly say this. I know you will read this and I hope you that you do think its meant for you. It was all up to me and it finally happened. it took a completely different situation to help me with this. fucking enlightenment at the end of a crazy situation. |
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| I can only gain friends |
[Mar. 12th, 2006|09:31 pm] |
I fucked up. I am going to live with this as if it were exactly what I wanted. Then I will be happy. I went to san felipe for the weekend. reminded of the world full of negative that awaits me at home. throughout the entirety of the trip i had a suspicious stomach ache. I finally realized that when people dont want help i should respect that. instead of trying to help when you arent welcome to. the result of such foolishness will only hurt me in the end. i gain and learn alot from my experiences, now my lesson is to let people go. Maybe its my turn to be Angie.
I believe that I needed to be that deceitful and selfish in my life to better understand the miss understood. To know how low I could get to understand just how much I hated myself at the time. It was unfortunate that others got hurt. I also believe that it is imperative to understand that it takes two people to make a bad situation. I am willing to believe that had I had self worth i would not have done what I did. I deserve just as much respect as anyone else no more no less.
we are all entitled to fucking up within our lifetime.
If everyone was judged only on the worst thing they have ever done EVERYONE would be horrible.
this is my affirmation for today. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2005|10:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  high | ] |
im readging choke again. I forgot how chuck palahniuk writes, so it was refreshing not to read the same syntax that most modern novelists are bond to. Trainspotting is on an dheroine attics are grooooossssss eww he went in the toliet. Renton was just so fab. well i will write about my fun and exciting times later. so i can watch junkies to get of junk. |
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| and with nothing better to do... |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|12:24 pm] |
You're an Passionate Kisser
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For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2005|08:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | if you want to be high be high | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tool- hooker w/ a penis | ] |
Why do I care about her? She stopped caring about me. Isn't that enough? If one party stops caring about the other the latter should use that to get over them right? Maybe she never cared about me. if that is true then I will always be in search of some kind of rejection or acceptance from them. I gues just because you have feelings for someone doesnt gaurantee those feelings are returend. this is always in the back of my head.
but for some happy news. Chloe had her baby and he is beautiful. He was born Nov 17th 2005 at 11:48 am he is 18" and 6lbs 10oz. i love him already. i saw that baby come out of his mother. and it was wonderful. I cried alot. they were definately tears of joy. I think he is so so so cute. he has a clef pallet so he has trouble breathing and feeding so we cant take him home just yet. but he will be greated by all of my gourgeous rommies. Chloe is so happy. Isaac Aurthor Osiris is absolutely perfect.!!! |
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| i want to help |
[Nov. 12th, 2005|05:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | high | ] |
what do you do when you want to help someone but they dont want your help? maybe you have an idea that will help them out in some way but they wont listen. you love them and would never say anything to harm them. in fact you have only made sure that whatever you utter will only help them progress. when it pains you when they are in pain. I guess im really not thinking about them am i? I am being selfish in that i am recognizing that they wont look to me for advice. or see that they dont appreciate me. so why do i want make the matters worse by adding to my friends pain by expressing my silly disillusionment. i apologize to you for my good intentions and my bad behavior. i care i guess i just dont know how to. i wont give up i wont quit i know that people grow, i guess i just dont think about how much i still have to grow. |
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| I've got the bigget pair of ovaries you've ever seen! |
[Nov. 10th, 2005|08:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | high | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the doors | ] |
I feel that the use of "balls" as a indicator of how manly or macho a guy is overused. so i have taken the liberty of using my overies to calibrate how fem i am. so i have ovaries of steel, I also have ovaries of Justice, and clit that makes you tell the truth. I hope to spread this message to all ovary owners and honorary ovarie holders. USE THE POWER OF THE OVARIES! (as i grab my ovaries). |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2005|07:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | gonna get high | ] |
If you want to be high be high if you want to be low be low...
GO LOVE SOME MORE!
good movie, limited amout of songs. |
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| today was a good day |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|09:25 pm] |
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although i didnt get to turn in my project, oops. I am happy im high and kinda drunk. i miss jacob. i was watching dave chapelle and it made me laugh. i will drink more and have more fun. i will finally watch harold and maude im so excited. we will see what else ooh i thinks love actually. i will smile at the end when the girl with nice thighs jumps on hugh grant. i love this woman this prego girl. her smile is contagious that crooked smile. i always want to bite that crooked bottom lip. she makes me smile when she talks about things she probably shouldnt care about. I know that everything in my life will help me grow. with her it is so obvious. i am glad that i can pinpoint it and see it. it challenges me to do the same. i hope i do the same. |
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| My mom got married |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|01:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | about to get high | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tool-opiate | ] |
This sunday my mother exchanged vows with the man she has been with for 11 yrs. the same man who tried to force himself on me. the same man i have never been able to feel comfortable around. she knows all of this and they had a cerimony. i guess the aunt that was in charge of it all didnt know. I find it to be a little disrespectful to have a wedding. a court wedding would have probably been more appropriate. she says that it is just to fix his and his childrens papers. I have forgiven but will never forget. I hear that he seems happy. im glad my mother has found her companion. i guess we cant pick our moms or who they pick. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2005|01:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sky high | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | S-K dig me out | ] |
I thought I took it ok. I realized how wrong I was later that day. I am still very much in love with him. I haven’t felt the pain you do when ppl break up with you since her. I cried so much the last couple days or one day maybe they all blur together now. I forgot to eat again until about 2 in the morning. I think it’s a sign I have to calm down or I wont have anytime for myself. I was excited about our one year on nov 2nd. I guess that’s how much I was not ready for this. I was a lot better I don’t know if its cause I was too busy to think about it, too high(hah that’s impossible), or cause a cute girl hit on me. I don’t know if im going to start crying again or not. I guess im going to find out. My reason and logic are always right for me but my heart or emotions wasnt ready yet. Im not considering a reconsile because that would be stupid on both our parts. we know better(sometimes a curse)and thats that. |
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| I have so much to do |
[Oct. 8th, 2005|04:13 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | special brownies | ] |
I have a number of things i wish to accomplish this semester. I seem to be well on my way to begining them. i have no time to know how i feel. i have no time to myself. i love surrounding myself with people, maybe only because i forget how i love to be alone. i had to squeeze in masturbation looking over my shoulder just incase they cant see the sign that clearly reads "AT COMPUTER MASTURBATING". DO you ever notice how people are completly oblivious to other simply because they are too concerned with themselves. do we all think this? do we all feel that we care more about people than everyone else? WHy do i care? not only about people in general, but why do i care that ohters dont? i can never be someone else i can admit that. i can only speak for myself and hope that someone can learn from my mistakes. but i think that
if you are currently making a "mistake" then it is your time to be making it. because if you werent meant to make the mistake you would already have enough sense to avoid making said mistake.
i like it. it helps me deal with the fact that my friends make dissisions that they probably shouldnt. but im not them im only me. i talk to myself like this. i talk to myself about talking to myself...and so on and so forth.
im so content with the fact that eventually, after all this curren perverbial shit, everything will be alright.
yo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|12:11 pm] |
| Your Birthdate: February 22 | 
While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings.
You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion.
Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings.
Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma.
An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail.
You are very aware and intuitive.
You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension. |
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| SHE'S PREGNANT AND IM IN LOVE |
[Sep. 6th, 2005|02:00 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | high and in love | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | elliot smith- somebody that i used to know | ] |
ok so its true i have fallen hard for my very pregnant friend Chole. she is so funny, sweet, kind, smart, artistic, passionate, witty and not to mention possibly the most beautiful woman i have ever met. i know she sounds made up but she is for real. we hang out alot. i got the nerve to kiss her. but her contractions start whens he is excited (found that out the hard way). so i must try to keep my hands and lips places that wont arouse her. its sooo hard! i know she is going through alot and i just want to be around her all the time. i hope that the stupid boy she is in love with finally wises up and askes her to be his girlfriend. all in good time i guess. in the mean time i can do anything she wants me to do for her. she is to amazing, my description does not do her justice im so happy she is in my life.
hopelessly in love
crystal |
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